Harry Potter, The Quick and the Dead
by DrRaven
Summary: Blackmial, Horcurxes, Death, Oh my.


Albus Dumbledore waited with baited breath as the Sorting Hat was placed on the head of Harry James Potter. The young boy sat there with the old relic on his head for what seemed like an eternity. The students were getting restless as they waited...and waited...and waited. Finally having enough, the elder wizard stood up and walked around to the front of the stage and spoke with the hat.

"What is the problem, Alastir?" Dumbledore asked.

"Lord Potter will not lower his highly advanced occlumency shields in order for me to sort him properly." the hat replied. "We have been sitting here conversing on magical theory."

"But what of the other students who need to be sorted?" Dumbledore asked.

"Bugger them." Harry and Alastir said together, eliciting a laugh from Harry.

"We cannot open the feast until everyone has been sorted!" McGonagall yelled.

"No shit, Sherlock." Harry said. Gasps were heard throughout the hall.

"Mister Potter!"

"That's Lord Potter, thank you very much." Harry said smugly. "I refuse to be sorted until all of my conditions are met. Seeing as no food can be served until the sorting is over... and I can sit here indefinitely, I suggest you meet my demands."

"Potter you arrogant..."

"Fuck off, Snivellus." Harry snapped. "First demand. Sirius Black gets a full trial, with Veritiserum. I know you fuckwits denied him a trial to begin with, so that shouldn't be too hard."

"I'm sure we can arrange that." Dumbledore stated.

"Secondly, you reveal to the world the Prophecy concerning myself and Voldemort." harry smirked at the reaction Dumbledore gave. "And I do mean full disclosure."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Harry."

"Lord Potter, Dumbledore."

"Third Demand. Unbreakable vow from each of the staff to never interfere in my life. Nothing you do will be for the greater good of ME, so you might as well face the facts, Dumbledore. I already know everything. If you try and persuade me to do anything I feel isn't in my OWN best interest, then I'll let Voldemort run rampant over England. Isn't that right, Quirrell? Wouldn't your master love to know the Prophecy?" Eyes turned towards Quirrell.

"Come now... didn't the castle tell you that Quirrell is possessed? You really are losing your touch Dumbledore." Harry smirked.

"You dare..." Quirrell began.

"Of course, Tom. _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approches. Born to those who thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... _Sorry about your luck, Neville."

"POTTER!" Snape yelled.

"_And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal..."_

"HARRY!" Dumbledore yelled.

"Yes, yes. We all know that the scar on my head was this marking. Tough luck, Tom. Had Snape not brought you this information, you wouldn't have to possess him now would you?" Harry sneered. "OH! By the way...Tom Marvolo Riddle is hereby given temporary refuge in Hogwarts, so long as he does not attack an innocent. As heir to Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, I command it, so mote it be!"

"Thank you, Potter! AVADA KEDAVRA!" The green light shot out of Quirrell's wand and struck the unsuspecting Snape.

"Ohhh that had to hurt... well maybe it didn't." Panicked screams came from the student body. "Now now, children, settle down. Tom can't hurt any child here." Harry smirked. "I said nothing about murdering Death Eaters, or manipulative old coots. And the best thing is... Hogwarts will protect him!"

"Why did you do this Harry?" McGonagall asked, leaning over the dead Snape.

"Simple. Ask the old coot, who stole from my vaults. Ask the old coot who obliviated Tom Riddle Senior to thinking he didn't have the child he had been searching for. Blame the old coot who stuck me with muggles despite my parents wishes. You see, Voldemort..." gasps were heard from everyone in the hall, "is safe here so long as he does not harm any innocent. Snape wasn't innocent. The rest of the teachers, save Dumbledore, are safe. Most of the children are safe... except maybe the pureblood supremacists."

"I can kill you Potter!"

"Go right ahead and try, Tom." Harry sneered. A moment later Harry was knocked off the stool as the jet of green light hit him in the chest.

"HA! So goes the boy-who-lived." Voldemort, in Quirrell's voice sneered.

"Oh that bloody hurt." Harry said, sitting back up, much to the surprise of everyone in the Great Hall. "What? They don't call me the boy-who-lived for nothing, you know."

"What magic is this?" Voldemort yelled.

"Your own magic, you fool. You just destroyed your last Horcrux. My scar, you fucknut." Harry smirked. "Now... all I have to do is banish you like I would a ghost... and you go poof."

"I am immortal!" Voldemort yelled.

"Are you now? Are you sure? Let's see..." Harry pulled out a box. "The Diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle... destroyed." Harry tossed the destroyed diary on the ground. "The locket of Slytherin. Poof. The Cup of Helga Hufflepuff. Gone. The Diadem of Ravenclaw...splat. Marvolo Gaunt's Ring... bye bye. " Harry tossed each object out of the bag. "And poor Nagini."

"I'll kill you Potter!" Voldemort sneered from the back of Quirrell's head.

"Spiritus Exume Infini" Harry intoned, as a bright white light shot from his wand and hit Quirrell. An agonizing scream piereced through the hall as the spirit of Voldemort was ripped out of Quirrell's body, as every eye in the hall was on Harry and the spirit of Voldemort. A moment later, it vanished, leaving the occupants stunned.

"What the bloody hell?" someone shouted as Harry walked out of the Great Hall, and out of Hogwarts.

===000===

The fallout from the opening feast was widespread. With Voldemort completely vanquished, every marked Death Eater fell over dead, grabbing their left arms. It had left a gaping hole in the Ministry as Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge, Senior Undersecretary Umbridge, a handful of Aurors, workers from many of the main departments of the ministry all collapsed dead. Harry had sent a full copy of the memories to the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Amelia Bones, and to the Daily Prophet, ICW, and all major newspapers. He wouldn't let this get swept under the rug.

A week after the news article came out, Sirius Black was freed. Dumbledore was unceremoniously kicked off the Wizengamot, ICW and Hogwarts, in that order. The students who had parents who were death eaters ended up being orphans, and poor ones at that as Madame Bones, the new Minister, confiscated each Death eater property and vault, with the help of the Goblins. Harry Potter received 25 percent commission for that, as the goblins got half. So each party was happy.

The Weasleys, who had thought they would be befriending the boy-who-lived, learned the hard way not to fuck with a Potter. Their vault was empty, and the loan on their property was called in due. Harry knew that Arthur Weasley was not at fault at all, but didn't care. He had sent a private note that if he were to disown Molly, Ron and Ginerva, he would cancel the debt and the Blood Fued.

Harry grew up learning at home, at Potter Manor with Sirius and Remus. With the help of Harry's betrothed and her family, both Harry and Daphne Potter obtained perfect scores on their NEWTS. No one really saw Harry Potter after that day in Hogwarts. Sure, there were some spottings, and the best kept secret in the Wizarding World was that Harry Potter, The Man-who-Conquered, was married to Daphne Greengrass on July 1, 1998. Neville Longbottom, who had been friends with Harry since the day after Harry left Hogwarts, stood up for him, as Tracey Davis, Daphne's best friend was Matron of Honor. The Daily Prophet received photos of the wedding _after_ it happened, and much to their chagrin, Longbottom and Davis both disappeared.

Speaking of Longbottom, Frank and Alice recovered nicely after the Death Eater who had been caring for them died. It had turned out that while no one was paying attention, Frank and Alice were kept under the Cruciatus and silenced during the times the ward was empty. The healers figured out that the Cruciatus curse is only a temporary effect, and because of that was learned that the Longbottoms didn't suffer from mental breakdown, but from a potions induced coma along with exposure to cruciatus. The Longbottoms reunited with their son at Potter Manor, along with Augsta Longbottom and Neville's new wife, Tracey Davis.


End file.
